Driven By Fear
“There’s nothing to fear, but fear itself”.
“Fear no evil”.
Talk about a four-letter word!
We really don’t like fear, but perhaps it’s time to do some reframing.
Back in December I received an an email following a presentation to a small group of business leaders at the resort town of Whistler, BC.
“One thing I wanted to ask, wondered about. You mentioned the guy in the hospital you met who couldn’t get past his blocks, couldn’t find the resolve to keep going. People experience a wide variety of situations where you are faced with the option to reframe, dig deep into yourself and drive through, or not. What are your thoughts on what “it” is that gives people that awareness in the right moments and the resolve to take that path.
I understand the mechanics of doing it when the decision is made, but deeper than that, the “it” that leads you to make the decision to do it. What is “it”?”
I have to admit, I put the email aside for a few days feeling I was going to have to dig deep for the answer, but then surprisingly, when I sat down to write, the answer came quite quickly:
“Thinking about this over coffee this morning and I think the answer for me is fear; I use it as a motivator.
I’ve heard people talk about always focusing on the positive; which is great, but if we don’t acknowledge fear; let ourselves feel it, we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to say, “#%@* that. That’s not going to happen!”
For me that’s way more powerful that any positive thought I could hold…”
If we’re going to get through fear, we can’t dwell on it, but rather, use it to push us in the opposite direction. It may not just be the negative things we apply fear to; it could be anything.
We may fear success, so we sabotage ourselves using fear to propel us in the opposite direction.
We might do the same with love, by pushing people away out of fear of being hurt.
Whichever way you look at it, for good or bad, fear is an amazingly powerful weapon for getting ourselves out of, or avoiding altogether, situations we don’t want.
How about you?
How do you use fear?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Awesome way to look at it Warren.
Thanks for an eye-opener.
martin kelly says:
Great stuff Warren!
Of our 2 greatest motivators – pain and gain – when push comes to shove, we usually look to avoid the pain ( or fear of loss of something).
Thanks for continually pushing us to think about “things” in different ways!
J Dyment says:
Hello Warren , I have felt this way a couple times in my life . Fear has defiantly made me fight for what is rightfully mine . I see myself as a soft , understanding person , easygoing but people have tried in the past ,to take what is mine from me .The fear of that happening spurred me into action and deep inside I felt “#%” that and fought them and won ! Sometimes we do need to know when to walk away …..And sometimes we need to stand firm and fight !
Debra Peeples says:
Great article Warren. So, true! I have often in the past not allowed myself to succeed because of the fear of the responsibilities that were to come with the success.
The same with friends and animals. I am a very loving person and have often gotten hurt from caring too much. So, I built walls of separation to avoid any disappointment or hurt, even the anticipation of death. If i don’t get too close, then the fear of feeling that deep hurt is not experienced.
It took me years to realize just what you said in this article and actually break a few of my own rules to live again. I have a lot to give asnd have learned how to develop boundaries that still allow me to step out of my fears.
Abby Krauce says:
Love it Warren … hope you are well.
Yeah I can see a cloud and see ithe silver lining but the difficulty is when your faced with shit without the benefit of hindsight. Scary shit!! It’s puts a fresh dimension on the term ‘Eat shit” ……..it just might be good for you.
Mary HH says:
Thanks for that article and the perspective on fear. I never thought of it that way, but agree 100%!! I can always trust you to give me a cool idea to think about and share. Keep the blogs coming!